Sunday, January 25, 2009

Not for the Squeamish

A warning to those who are squeamish about such things: the following journal entry will contain lots of references to female parts that some people might prefer not be discussed, and refer to parts by names that I have recently discovered some people have never heard before. This will be graphic. Well, as graphic as I am able to write (which does not border on the pornographic, for those who are fearful of that)

One of the new "in" things in female cosmetic surgery is labiaplasty. This is the procedure by which a woman's labia (since I recently found someone who had never heard the term, I will define it as the "lips" of the vagina) are reduced in size so that the whole vaginal area can be much smaller, and, in many cases, have the look of a young girl. Some people call it having a "designer vagina." (There is a section of The Vagina Monologues, where the women in the cast call out all the euphemisms that have been used for the word "vagina." My favorite was "Coochi-snorcher," and I'm wondering if you have a "designer vagina" would it then be a Gucci-Snorcher?)

I am intimately familiar with this procedure because it's the new specialty of my former boss and I an his web page designer, so with all the photos I have posted to the page, I may have come close to seeing more female genital parts than Hugh Hefner.

Well, maybe not Hugh Hefner. But let's just say that if you add the number of months I helped with pelvic exams and the number of larger-than-life pictures which regularly appear in my e-mail (it's a better waker-upper than a cup of coffee!), I've seen my share.

It's a procedure which has come under much discussion of late. Time magazine just did a big article in which my former boss is quoted, and so he was very eager to update his web site yet again.

sizesample.jpg (28264 bytes)I was the one who decided how the photos should be displayed and I did what I could to make them as small and "medical" as possible, adding a copyright note and cropping them (an oddly appropriate word to use!) from their huge size down to a size that is just large enough to be definable. And for the record, the photo at the left is of stones, and has nothing to do with any female body parts...but it's the size that all of those full-screen size crotch shots end up by the time I get them to the web site.

Since this procedure is increasing in popularity, I was discussing it at a couple of gatherings I attended recently and was really quite surprised at the reaction I got, especially among one group of women who were repulsed at the thought of their vaginal areas. "Who wants to look at that?" they asked.

It could be because I worked in ob/gyn for so many years, but I asked if they had ever looked at themselves. "Ewwww...no!" was the not-surprising response, given the initial reaction.

That was me, before I went to work for ob/gyn. It had never occurred to me to look at my own body. All those body parts are attached to me, but I had no idea what they looked like. It is surprising how many women have never looked at themselves. I remember one couple who came to our office years ago. They were newlywed and were having a terrible time consummating their marriage because it was excruciatingly painful for the woman. There are conditions which make it painful to engage in sexual intercourse, but in this case, with the help of the doctor and a mirror, they solved the problem by pointing out the difference between the urethra and the vagina...the man had been attepting to put tab A into the wrong slot.

I guess I'm less surprised at women who have never looked at their bodies than I am at women who are disgusted (and in some cases nauseated) by the thought of looking at their own bodies. Does it disgust us to look at our fingers? Our toes? Our ears? Why should our vaginas be any more "disgusting"? I've seen some pretty ugly toes, believe me!

But even more amazing is that women would undergo the (reportedly) excruciatingly painful bikini wax procedure or have someone take a knife to their labia just to create a smooth youthful looking vagina. (especially if you are disgusted to look at it in the first place.

But my former boss reassures me that women are so incredibly grateful afterwards. I'm not one to criticise what people do with their money--or their bodies. But this is one that is more difficult for me to understand than a lot of procedures. (That said, however, there are some women whose labia are so large that they interfere with their lives. Those are in a different category from the "designer vaginas.")

The other "in" surgery for women, especially Muslim women, is hymen restoration. For those unfamiliar with the term "hymen," it is the membrane which covers the vaginal opening, which is usually broken with the first sexual intercourse (though it has sometimes been known to be accidentally broken during other vigorous activity, such as playing sports). This procedure gives them what they feel is a "renewed virginity" (and fools the potential husbands of women who have been sexually active before marriage).

There is also apparently a "G-spot enhancement" procedure, which must be renewed every few months (big bucks each time).

Ain't modern medicine grand?

No comments: